I, my friendly readers, am the king of burps.

I boast not because of ego. I just state the facts, ma�am.

I have a natural talent, an innate ability, you can even say super hero like power to let out earthquake like burps. When my stomach is a rumbling, stand back because I�m about to unleash with the power of a hundred mighty men!

I�m not saying this because I�m proud of my ability to let out long, loud, deep bass burps. I say this because you never know. Some day your survival may rely on your ability to spew with noxious gases. I, personally, feel quite safe and comfortable with my survival in this scenario. Hell I might even be declared ruler of all that dares to relieve after dinner stomach tension!

I am like the majestic lion in the deep jungle. Hear my roar.

BBBWWWRROOOOOOOPPPPPP!

Then all shall bow before me with there child like gas, weakly belching to show my dominance over them. And if any dare to usurp my throne all I shall need is a good meal, an empty stomach, and a fresh, cold bottle of Pepsi. I would be a potent, regal king of the gassy people. Just me, my gas, and my iron fist covered in bubble wrap.

And of course we have to assume in this scenario ye who burpeth the mightiest shall reap the bootay! Every full moon I�d run through the wild tundra that is Victoria�s Secrets and let forth with my powerful mating call. The women would come a runnin cause a man with a mating call like that must�.drink a lot of soda.

Ok so I�m getting out of hand with this highly unlikely scenario. And I admit this entry is the results of sheer boredom and a complete lack of having anything worthwhile to write about.

Still that does not mean I wouldn�t be king.

I give to you evidence to prove my position as your future king. Have any of you had a burp so long that half way through it you had to stop and take a breath before continuing with said burp?

I.THINK.NOT!

Yes all future contenders can willingly concede now and stand by me as loyal knights and future clergy men to write the gospel of Chrome the King-o-Gas!

But be warned I shall not be mocked!

Ok so you caught me. I only continued with this little strange scenario just on the basis of being able to finally use the word �mock� in an entry.

Seriously, been looking for an excuse to use it for quite awhile now.

And that, my friends, is where I end this strange ass entry before you realize I am neither drunk nor stoned.

I�m just being really weird.

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003