See this is my explanation for the sore right shoulder I have had for the past four days. I�d blame shitty slipping habits, but I blame them so much I figure they need a break.

Well actually I couldn�t completely blame it on my poor sleeping habits anyways. I think what contributes to the pain lately is this chair. Ever since the cheap ass office cheaper I had broke I�ve been using a dining room chair.

Now this chair�s seat is considerably higher up then the office chair�s was. At first it seemed inconvenient and a bit disconcerting. The chair being so much higher put things in different perspectives. I no longer had the keyboard at an even level. Instead I�m reaching down to type while looking down at the monitor.

This makes playing Sim City 4 interesting with this downward perspective. As if the above perspective in the game wasn�t enough. I�m also looking down at my Monitor, glaring at my little Sims characters when they refuse to populate, work, and produce off spring. Contemplating wiping them all out with a tornado, a sudden meteor swarm, or attack them with giant, killer robots.

Can you say God complex boys and girls?

Well at least with the keyboard I have this gel wrist paid to raise my hands in a comfortable position. My mouse pad on the other hand. The only thing �ergonomically correct� about that is if I paint the words ergonomically correct on it.

Because of this I have to lean to my right a bit when I click on the mouse pad. Drop my right shoulder down a little so my hand is comfortable. Now I never really noticed this until my shoulder started giving me problems.

By the way a little piece of information about me and a serious geek check. Every once and awhile I get a strong urge to pick up my mouse. And in a outrageous Scottish accent say �hello computer.�

If you don�t recognize that reference then I�m not going to point out how much of a geek I really am. For those of you who do recognize it. Don�t like, you know you�ve had the urge once or twice in your life.

So I figure leaning down like that, dipping my right shoulder, is putting a strain on it. That and I must have been a fish in a former life. I seem to have that �been caught and slapped on the docks to die a horrible, oxygen deprived death� performance down pact while I try and sleep.

Proof positive this morning when I woke up with the both mattresses half way off the box spring.

Actually I think I need to set up a camera to record my sleep. Some really peculiar shit happens during that time and leaves me confused the next morning.

Let me provide a few of the facts at hand and let you decided if its �peculiar.�

Fact 1

As stated before the mattresses have been shifted considerably out of place. This is something that happens more often then not. In fact if it wasn�t for sleeping so close to walls it would possibly shift further off the box spring. I dare say all the way off if it had the room too.

Fact 2

Mysteriously, on more then one occasion, I have woken to the covers I was using all balled up under my head. While my pillows lay neatly at my side as if untouched.

Fact 3

While I thought I was in a mere dream, it turned out a strange, black, bald man decided to show me the truth of my reality. Only I can�t find him and instead I find a dark beauty dressed like she�s an extra in a Nine Inch Nails video. She knows my thoughts, she knows my name, she knows to much about me to be real.

Ok so I stole that last one, but I was running out of �strange� things that happen to me in my sleep. Well not completely, but resorting to �both my arms fall asleep and one of them leaves a red welt in my forehead� didn�t have the same oomph as that last one.

Well anyways I�m sticking with the I owe the Russian Mafia serious amounts of money story. Then I can just say they wait till I�m asleep and then proceed to beat me repeatedly over my right shoulder with a baseball bat in hopes I split like a pi�ata and give up the dough.

Sooo�anyone willing to put me up at there place for like a few years. Help me get a new identity?

I�m looking for a �billionaire playboy with to much class for some and too wicked in the bed for others� identity.

Not asking for much, really.

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003