You see the other night I set my headphones down, ready for bed. And as they do on occasion they slipped off the shelf and landed on the ground.

No biggie, usually.

Not this time though. This time when they hit the ground there was a loud, very unhealthy cracking sound from one of the ear pieces. I closed my eyes and inwardly groaned knowing very well what this meant.

I done fuckered up my best headphones!

Leaning over to pick them up I was more then write. I didn�t just put a crack in them, didn�t just break something off. I actually broke the piece that holds one of the ear pieces onto the headphones. Now the ear piece hangs limp and weakly like Michael Jackson�s speckled pecker.

Not good, not good at all I say.

Though on further inspection of the headphones I realize over all it isn�t that bad. Where it broke it�s already not very flexible to begin with so I can simply super glue it back on and it�s as good as new�.sort of.

That would work if I just had a tube of super glue.

Well I figured I could live with them as is till I had my hands on the glue strong enough to hold a moron to a support beam.

You all remember those commercials.

At least I thought I could live with it like that. Then I tried it out. The ear piece flapping against my head with every head wiggle. Bounce, bounce, bounce against my left ear.

Man I had no clue I moved my head around that much.

And if this isn�t annoying enough on it�s own it completely ruins my �full submersion� into my music. Every night when I�m on this comp I always have my headphones on and the music cranked. It allows me to disappear into the little world that is my computer screen and ignore the rest of the world. Now one of the ear pieces sticks out at a weird angle no where near my ear. I can barely hear the music in that ear. Instead I�m hearing the sounds of garbage trucks, late night drivers, street cleaners, and loud and obnoxious drunks.

Stupid headphones, you�re fuckin with my chi!

Finally I said fuck it I don�t care how �ghetto� it looks! So I went in search for the first role of sticky substance I could find that didn�t directly affect my love life.

Now I have a huge ass ball of masking tape holding the ear piece on.

Hey, don�t look at me like that! These fuckers cost me forty damn dollars. I don�t care if they give me a brain tumor, I�m wearing the damn things!

Now I�m back into being submersed into my music. No more is that ear piece annoyingly bouncing off my head like a child hopped up on Pixi Stix intravenously looking for attention and a piece of cheese. The outside world is no longer fucking with my moment of feng shui.

I�m all ghetto�ed out here and I don�t give a funk, yo!

So as it worked out I was talking to Trinity tonight and she was in quite a bind with writing her paper on Joan of Arc. Seems she was about two pages short of the paper�s ten page requirement.

Well hell I�m really good at bullshitting my way through shit, why don�t I help her? And after all I do have an extensive knowledge of the Joan of Arc story.

Hey, I�ve seen the movie.

So with a little tweaking and a lot of bullshit filibustering on my part her report went from eight pages long to eleven pages long.

Man sometimes it does pay to be severely long winded.

Well maybe not if you are a reader of my diary. Then you have my deepest condolences and a pleading that you see a psychologist for a blatant case of masochism.

I kid, you all are not masochistic. I�m just sadistic enough to make the story just interesting enough to get you to read ten pages of shit with no pay off at the end.

Either I really don�t have a life or I�m concocting a very vicious, slow working, evil plan to rule the world.

I haven�t decided yet. I�ll do it sometime after my shows.

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003