Case in point I�m talking to a good friend of mine who has gone back to college recently. Now I�m not exactly sure how this conversation started, but the end results of the conversation null and void a need to know why.

College Professor: I�m working on a piece for an adult sex toy and I need another word for dildo.

Friend: Meat Substitute!

Gems of humor like that come only once in a great while.

Sometimes I swear I hate my computer and my complete ignorance on how some things work on it.

Computer instabilities, programs having failures and needing to be shut down, things not working how they should.

Drives me fucking nuts I swear. And it seems every time I have a problem and I bring it to a more �computer literate� friend they are completely baffled by my problem.

Damn it, you are supposed to be the computer whiz kid here. Fix the fucker!

It also can make me quite nervous when I start having to many problems with my computer. Seeing as I spent several months constantly fixing hard and software problems, reloading Windows more times then I can count, I feel a bit weak in the knees when my computer starts acting jerky.

Makes me wish like hell there was some magic program you can run that fixes all your problems and poof. It�s settled and no more worries.

They give you the placebo version of this with scan disk, but that doesn�t always pick up or fix all your problems. At least in my experience it doesn�t.

Now really I could do the smart thing and take some computer classes. Get to know the operating system better so I�m not so confused on why I keep having problems.

Instead I take a more primitive outlook on handling my OS problems.

First I stare at the screen in confusion. My brow furrows, my eyes narrow as I star at the error message. I try keeping a straight mind about this by clicking the �get further details� button. Assuming each time that it will describe to me in a very simple laymen�s terms what went wrong so I can fix it.

Of course it�s written in some crazy moon language so now I�m even further clueless then I was before.

Then I just want to pick up my keyboard and begin slamming it against my desk as I cry out like a crazed chimpanzee. Then I�d leap up on my chair and crouched there as I pound away at the remains of the keyboard. High pitch wale of frustration as I reach back and scoop fling my poo at the monitor.

WAH AH AH AH AH *phew�.SPLAT!*

Quite fitting for a guy who modeled his username after primitive Cro Magnon Man.

Well fitting for that and a man who�s tired enough to go beyond strange, but into a somewhat disturbing goofyness.

This is why I end this diary entry now before I further subject you to it.

Trust me you and your future therapist will thank me for this.

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003