Thank god because I was beginning to worry.

As it has become common amongst my friends Saturday nights are reserved to playing various poker games for chips. It�s a bit sad for the fact we assigned money values to the chips so we can tally them up at the end of the night. And after four weeks of this we declare the month�s over all winner by who ever has attained the most money with the four weeks added together.

Of course there is no actual money involved in this. Its just poker chips that represent money because frankly none of us have the cash to do this other then using pennies.

So to revel in the sadness of this moment may I just say I have been winner of the first two months of our �monthly tournaments?�

Yeah baby cause when it comes to plastic chips worth absolutely nothing I am the shit.

Anyways�

So there we are playing our regular Saturday night games. Seeing as all four of us are smokers there are ash trays on opposite corners of the table. Now normally all of us smokers in the game have Zippo lighters. Fuck the disposable lighters, they fall apart too easily. Plus Zippos can be really shiny!

So having Zippo lighters it�s not that big of a deal keeping your lighter near the ash tray. No need to worry about something bad happening. It�s a metal case that may not be air tight, but damn close enough so that a still lit ash doesn�t do anything but maybe tarnish the shiny.

But logically speaking if you do have a plastic disposable lighter you keep that flimsy piece of crap as far away from a heat source as possible.

Make sense doesn�t it. I mean really plastic is so easy to melt right through. It doesn�t take much of a heater source to put a hole in a piece of flimsy plastic.

A fact proven to all our surprises thanks to one friend in our group.

Now I won�t say his name to be nice, but I will direct you to his diary so you may leave guest book entries poking fun at him for nearly blowing himself up.

A diary, might I add, that he has done a grand total of three entries since I worked and slaved over designing him a new template and hosting his images. A diary he hasn�t written in, according to my buddy list, in over a month.

So slacker if you are reading this get to fucking writing! You�re taking up valuable space in my image support. Which I wouldn�t mine if you didn�t do less writing with a personalized template then you did with a standard Diaryland template.

Well anyways onto someone else�s unbelievable bad luck�for a change in this diary.

Seriously the strange shit that happens to me I swear I�m a star in a shitty sitcom show. Only I�m not getting the fat checks and no one asks me to sign an autograph.

Ok for some strange reason said friend had a disposable lighter instead of using his Zippo. Which is out of action because, and note this well, it�s out of action since he needs a new piece of flint.

Your average disposable lighter costs twice as much as a thing of six Zippo flints. Oh and did I mention he also has three other fucking disposable lighters waiting at home?

Yeah�wrap your mind around that logic. I dare you!

We�ll just ignore that he could have broken apart one of those disposable lighters to get the flint out of it and use his Zippo once again.

So there we are sitting at the table playing a game of cards. Captain Brilliant there had laid his disposable lighter right next to the ash tray in which he placed his cigarette in and just left there.

A few minutes later we all hear this little pop and a loud release of air that sort of stunned us all into silence. At first I had no clue what happened when I was just starring at the location of the strange popping/hissing noise. I did see it happen out of the corner of my eye that it had happened right near the ashtray. I thought at first someone had slipped one of those little seeds in his cigarette that makes it explode.

I couldn�t think of what else it could be.

Then looking at his disposable lighter we see a little burned hole in the side of it. Meaning the cigarette he left unattended in the ash tray slipped out onto the lighter and burned a hole through it.

Lucky for him the sudden release liquid to air release of the fluid blew his cigarette away without igniting said fluid. Very lucky of him since his arm was less then two inches away from the exploding, disposable lighter.

Ladies and gentlemen of the press I present to you sheer genius at its finest.

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003